NEILTON

Who is he? Where does he play?

He's a young versatile forward playing for Brazilian club Santos, he has stupid hair, sublime skills and an eye for goal. He has been dubbed "the next big thing" in Brazilian football, but where have we heard this all before.... hang on.....

Are you writing about Neymr again?

Nope, I'm writing about Neilton who just so happens to be a doppelganger for the 21 year old wonderkid who seems bound for Barcelona. In Neilton, Santos have a natural heir at 19 years of age, and even though the young pup has vehemently maintained the similarities end at the hair and the pretty tanned face, nobody can escape the comparison in talent that was so obviously evident as the 19 year old prodigy tore Palmerias apart at junior level the end of January.

Are clubs chasing him like they are Neymar?

Oh yes, top European clubs are attracted to talented Brazilians like the Tory Government are to U-turns, or at least the British tabloids claim they are; Chelsea and Manchester United are currently watching Neilton as he plays in the Copa Sao Paulo Under-19s' tournament, according to the Mirror anyhoo. Roman Abramovich, the wily old Russian oil dealer, has sniffed the bargain of Neilton's reported £5 million release clause and has started monitoring his progress with all the tact of a Soviet spy. 

Hmm... isn't it a bit too soon for a move?

Well yeah, judging by the lack of research available on Neilton, he hasn't quite yet gathered the same level of hype and adulation afforded to Neymar, who was tracked documentary-style by ITV in Brazil's friendly with England on Wednesday night. You can read an in depth account of his breakthrough hat-trick against Palmerias here  and you can rest comfortably in the knowledge that this lad is going to be a star, just like Neymar....